


Educational Purposes

by stydiapanic



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiapanic/pseuds/stydiapanic
Summary: based on season 7 episode 5, written because i am Too Extra and people keep trying to teach Reid about women and they're doing it all wrong (AKA: this author literally only consistently wears 2 pairs of shoes and is in a fighting mood)





	

"You only have four pairs of shoes," Spencer suddenly noticed, sitting next to you on your bed, which faced your open closet doors. 

"Yes?" You replied, unsure of why that was important to him. 

"Something I learned from Morgan on a recent case," he began, his eyes glazed, seeing the memory in his mind's eye. "No woman only has four pairs of shoes." 

"What?" 

"Morgan told me-" 

"And you're gonna let Morgan's knowledge of women be the basis for your entire understanding of them?" 

He frowned slightly, "Well, no, but Garcia and Prentiss agreed... JJ said it was 'different with the ladies.'" He turned to you, "Maybe you're just weird." 

"Maybe _I'm_ \- well okay that's fair, I guess, but. Okay, look, let me tell you the most important thing that you can learn about all women. Are you ready? I'm about to drop some knowledge for real."

He nodded. 

"Okay, so the thing is, there is no one thing that applies to all women, there are no "lady things" because- bear with me here- women as individuals are, actually, different from one another, and you can't actually apply one stereotype to all of them." 

"Y/N," Spencer began, exasperated, but you cut him off. 

"No, it's really wild, I know." 

"Okay," he conceded, knowing he would not win this one and that if you were not stopped you would go on a full on rant- a rant that he had definitely already heard. "In my defense, Morgan does have more experience than I do with women, so-"

"Right, and that's why you need me," you booped him on the nose playfully, "to remind you that just because Morgan has more experience, doesn't mean he actually knows what he's talking about. I highly doubt he's seen the closets of every woman on the planet."

"Statistically, it's highly improbable."  He teased. 

There was a pause, then: "I still think you're weird for only having four pairs of shoes though." 

"What, I have sneakers, boots, flip flops, and heels, what else do you need?!" you argued. 

"None, I guess, if the soles of your sneakers didn't have gashes in them. I mean, how does that even happen?" 

"I-" 

"And they're also covered in paint." 

" _Okay,_ jeez, so I'm weird, just leave my sneakers alone."

He chuckled, leaning over to kiss you on the cheek. "Do you know how easily I could have Garcia drag you to the mall if I only told her the sorry, sorry state of your footwear collection?" 

"Oh god... that would take hours... You wouldn't dare." 

"I wouldn't be so sure..." 

"Spencer!" you exclaimed, grabbing a pillow from behind you and whacking him with it. 

He chuckled. "Seriously?" 

You responded by hitting him once again. 

"Okay, fine, it's on." He grabbed the pillow he was leaning on and started fighting you until you were both laughing at yourselves. 


End file.
